So much pain, too much crying.
That is what I think goes through the head of mentally ill person, because sometimes they don’t get to live life they want to, and people who they want to love will maybe not love them. As a form of reassurance (for myself or for them, I do not know) I wrote two poems–Heart and Warmth. This was part of an activity for mental health disorder week in psychology, and that gave me the opportunity to write two pieces that i will forever hold close to my heart.
LO1 & LO2 : Writing has always been a passion of mine and after countless years practicing it, I like to think I am good at it. I don’t know why, but writing about mental health when I myself do not understand the extent of it, feels belittling and degrading for its victims. But still, I wrote because I wanted to understand, and if not fully comprehend it then at least act like a pillar they can lean on.
LO4 : This process was a tedious one, as many times I was at a lost of words; Transcribing one’s feelings onto paper is not as simple as it looks. But I could not give up–I had a feeling of responsibility after I took the task, similar to how one feels after promising their mother to do the work. Instead of fear of repercussions for not doing the task, it was the fear of disappointing others that kept me going. So I kept going, one step at a time, and at the end, those two poems made it worth it.
LO7 : The first poem I wrote is inspired by Kim Namjoon’s speech at the UN, where he talked about identity and the weight of the world’s expectations on his shoulders. Even though the end of my poem is inspired by his lines, the rest of the work and the feelings residing in those lines are mine. After first hand experiencing how difficult it is to actually write something, the idea of copying someone else seemed otherworldly to me. It was something I would never ever consider, because copying someone else equaled to disrespecting their feelings to me, and I would never hope to do that.
This event gave me the opportunity to grow as a writer and also as a person. I think it also gave me the insight of how some people may feel differently and that that is okay. It also helped me realize my own strengths in life, and that no matter what life may throw at me, I’ll be ready.
We are Bulletproof.